p2p/enr: updates for discovery v4 compatibility (#16679)

This applies spec changes from ethereum/EIPs#1049 and adds support for
pluggable identity schemes.

Some care has been taken to make the "v4" scheme standalone. It uses
public APIs only and could be moved out of package enr at any time.

A couple of minor changes were needed to make identity schemes work:

- The sequence number is now updated in Set instead of when signing.
- Record is now copy-safe, i.e. calling Set on a shallow copy doesn't
  modify the record it was copied from.